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I bashed Major League Baseball last week for allowing the All Star Game to become a boring shell of its former self. The game proved to be fairly interesting, even if I was proven right with Terry Francona almost running out of players and the game ending at almost 2 AM Eastern. For those mistakes we can condemn MLB, but the ceremonies before the game were amazing. Hall of Famers were put all around the field at their respective positions and were then joined by the current All Stars from both leagues. George Steinbrenner brought out the balls to be used for the ceremonial first pitch and received a well deserved ovation from the fans. All around, it was well done from a Yankee fan’s perspective, although a text message from Red Sox fan friend read, “This ceremony is making me sick.” OK, so maybe not everyone enjoyed it.

Baseball’s big event of the days leading up to the game was the Home Run Derby, which promised to be an exciting display of all of the biggest stars and power hitters in the baseball universe. Ryan Braun, Evan Longoria, and two second basemen were among those to vie for the crown formerly held by Ken Griffey, Jr., Vladimir Guerrero, Frank Thomas, and six players named in the Mitchell Report.

I felt obliged to jot down some random thoughts as I watched this event.

Due to the cast of thousands employed by ESPN for the event, Chris Berman’s always entertaining “Back, back, back” was not heard nearly as often as in past years. But the PA microphone was in the hands of one Michael Kay, who could be heard shouting “See Ya” as if he was referring to his ratings now that Mike and the Mad Dog are back on the air together. (Bash Michael Kay- check!)

Lost in the hoopla of senior citizen Clay Counsel throwing for Josh Hamilton was former scrapper Mike Gallego pitching for Dan Uggla. Overshadowed yet again.

David Ortiz walked across the field and into the clubhouse as Hamilton was hitting and was fittingly booed by the Stadium crowd. He smiled and kept walking. Earlier in the telecast, Chase Utley uttered an audible expletive as he was booed by the fans. Utley, a member of the Philadelphia Phillies, should grow some thicker skin. He can expect a D battery at his head if he graces Philly fans with another 0-24 streak.

During Hamilton’s barrage of home runs, a few fans sprinted into the black area of Yankee Stadium to grab one of his home run balls. Not only were some tackled by police as they made their escape, one lucky fan was put into a choke hold by one of New York’s Finest. ESPN’s cameras lingered just long enough to guarantee the kid will see a nice settlement from the city of New York.

While the story of Josh Hamilton’s addiction has been told before, it was told again during the telecast. It was detailed and factual and handled very tactfully. That is until Rick Reilly opened his mouth and proved why he is best served as a writer and not a television personality. Attempting to make him worth his ridiculous contract to write about human interest stories, ESPN is shoehorning Reilly into every live event they telecast. Reilly followed Karl Ravich’s eloquent description of Hamilton’s comeback by summarizing him as a “heroin addict” TWICE. Earlier, Reilly described the home run derby as looking like a “Kiwanis meeting” because of the lack of entrants of color. Somewhere Marge Schott is smiling.

Ian Kinsler looks like Dennis the Mennace.

Larry the Cable Guy is now a spokesperson for Men’s NutriSystem. Unfortunately for his fans, road kill is not on the menu.

It was chaos in the outfield as little ones were trampled and beaten for control of the balls that didn’t make it out of the park. The balls always seemed to end up in the hands of the same three 20 year olds, who, by the way, will be starring for the Bronx entrant in the Little League World Series.

Hamilton has gone through some personal trials, but he thanks Jesus Christ more than any other athlete I have ever seen. Maybe he should thank the Tampa Rays for giving him an enormous signing bonus and sticking with him through much of his drug addiction, just to watch him flourish with the Reds and Rangers.

When asked about batting practice pitcher Clay Counsel throwing 79 pitches in one night, Joe Morgan replied “We talk about pitches, whether they were stressful or not. I don’t think these were real stressful.” Chris Berman, unlikely source of reason and logic, reminded Morgan that Counsel is a 71 YEAR OLD MAN and all of his pitches were pretty stressful.

Erin Andrews, ESPN’s girl of the moment, was front and center all night and she did nothing but prove she is indeed only a pretty face.  Andrews understandably referred to her notes constantly, which made her pauses and stammering unexplainable, and made her mispronunciations inexcusable. Right after the State Farm Insurance representative called Justin Morneau “Jason”, Andrews referred to MLB VP Rob Manfred as Rob “Manfield”. ESPN: Style over Substance!

The Celebrity and Legends Softball Game was played on Sunday, but ESPN graced us with a heavily edited edition after the Derby ended. Kenny Mayne is back as manager of one team, while George Lopez helmed the other. Stars such as Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg, and Billy Baldwin were on hand to play with legends such as Dave Winfield (in a Padres cap), Tim Raines (in an Expos cap), and Wade Boggs (in a Yankees cap). My thoughts:

Manager Keny Mayne removes HALL OF FAME pitcher Rollie Fingers after one pitch. Kenny Mayne is the clown prince of ESPN. We need to see more of him. He is not overexposed at all.

Gary Carter called Bud Selig to say he was available to take over as manager if Kenny Mayne faltered.

I know it’s their trademark, but can Goose Gossage and Rollie Fingers let the mustache go already? We get it, you’re facial hair is famous.

Chris Rock struck out three times. What’s worse: his acting or athletic ability?

Wade Boggs’ hair is looking especially thick and lustrous since he began working with Men’s Hair Restoration. All he needs is a few visits to Guiseppe Franco to tame that wild mane.

Maria Menounos had on a Red Sox hat and a camel toe.

Billy Crystal has more range at short than Derek Jeter.

The game was so messy that third base coach Ernie Banks was overheard saying “Let’s play two…innings.”

Spike Lee was seen screaming at Billy Crystal because he didn’t cast a black actor to play Roger Maris in the movie 61*.

Mike Greenburg and Mike Golic did a few little skits together because they are the funniest team in radio. You see, they’re so funny together because they’re opposites. Golic is an athlete and Greenburg is a homosexual.

Honestly, I was glued to my set for most of the festivities, mostly because it was at Yankee Stadium, but also because there were some interesting storylines and a pretty good game being played. I got to see many players who I haven’t watched nearly enough of throughout the season, but I still insist changes have to made to keep this week of baseball a must see for casual and hard core fans alike. If Josh Hamilton didn’t hit 28 homers in the derby, would anything interesting have happened? If the game wasn’t at Yankee Stadium would any of the Hall of Fame appearances have happened? Would you have watched so intently? I doubt it.