fullcountpitch.com

By Bill Campione

The original intent of Channeling Harry Doyle was a satire of sports media because of their poor handling of the issues of the day and their ineptitude in covering the most basic of events. Sports is not the most important thing in the world, but it is the most important distraction from the real issues of the world, and if certain networks are going to advertise themselves as “The Worldwide Leader” or “The Home of…” they better come through with some informative, analytical, and interesting things to keep us distracted. ESPN pieces such as “Who’s Now?” and “Titletown” have received so much criticism it would be pointless to rehash how and why that network has become a shell of its former self in such a short period of time. Fluff pieces are just that, and don’t require much attention beyond those who think it matters if Tiger Woods or Lebron James is more now.

Sports programming has evolved into such a big business that it has become intertwined with entertainment and has progressed well beyond a niche section of a cable package. Understandably there will be some disillusioned sports fans who bemoan the Disneyfication of ESPN but can easily change the channel to one of the twenty other sports news sources when Chris Connelly tries to get a beer swilling unemployed electrician to tear up on a “My Wish” segment. My real issue is not with summer filler or advertiser sponsored sap, it’s with the tinkering with the game itself. I don’t need to hear an audible boing or dink whenever an out is recorded in game. I don’t like robots performing warm up activities as the ball is snapped in my football game.

That being said, watch any game on ESPN Classic and you’ll see that we are all much better off now with the gadgets, sound effects, and sponsorships, no matter how much they tale away from the game. It’s impossible to follow a game from as recently as ten years ago because the score isn’t posted, no stats accompany players’ names as they bat, and pitch counts weren’t even invented yet. I appreciate the progress that improves my viewing experience, but the networks have gone too far and we have reached a point of diminishing returns. Here is my attempt at fixing baseball telecasts from the production, direction, and announcing sides of a baseball broadcast.

For the producers and directors:

Less sponsorship

EVERYTHING is sponsored during a broadcast, from the line ups to the defensive alignment to the pitching changes. It isn’t bad enough that most stadiums look like the minor league park from Brewster’s Millions, they also have to tag everything with a logo and a slogan. Do I really need to have a plane fly by my screen to show the American Airlines upcoming schedule? At least the Fox Business Channel has the good sense to buy an entire block of commercials on the YES Network to advertise their channel. Granted, the “Fox Business News Happy Hour” brings nothing to table and the hosts know less about the economy than President Bush, but at least they get their product out there without polluting my screen by sponsoring God Bless America.

Conduct useful and informative in game interviews.

Fox has been using the in-game managerial interview and while it isn’t a bad idea, the brief time they have is usually wasted with banter that I don’t need. Ask in-game strategy questions, inquire about injuries and long term plans, but don’t waste my time with nonsense like, “You’ve dug yourselves quite a hole today. How will your team respond after giving up 15 runs in the first inning?”

Monday Night Football has justifiably run into some trouble when they invite stars from film and television to chat during the game.  But if Joe Buck and Tim McCarver are doing a game in Texas and Nolan Ryan is in attendance, I would welcome an appearance as long as they ask him questions that will yield real answers from one of baseball’s elder statesmen. If there is one thing we learned from HBO’s Costas Now live town hall shows it’s that great ballplayers should be given an opportunity to express opinions on the state of the game because they have insight and experience. Hearing Jim Palmer talk about Pete Rose and Henry Aaron and Willie Mays reminisce with Bob Gibson was great television. Please interrupt the game to educate the young audience on the history of the game with the richest history of them all, but don’t infiltrate my TV with softball questions designed to incite non-answers.

Don’t try stunts to increase ratings.

People are going to watch baseball if their hometown teams are good, there is a naturally occurring storyline, and/or they like the sport to begin with. Casual fans will not tune in to the game because you added a mascot or an in game trivia question. You want to increase the ratings? Start important games earlier and hurry the pace of the game by enforcing the new rules about time between pitches. When the umpires and players do you this gigantic favor, don’t miss a pitch so you can squeeze in another Papa John’s commercial.

No, I will not text you my answer to today’s trivia question.

This is not American Idol. I will not text you my player of the game. Even if I would, I’m not going to do it in the seventh inning of a tie game. And for those who think that the announcers are going to choose the player of the game with the most votes, you’re a moron. They never see the votes, nor do they care.

And while we’re on the subject, do the players really get the gifts they are promised for winning star of the game or appearing on the post game show? Are there baseball players all over New York wearing watches from William Barthman Jewelers and eating at Ben Benson’s Steakhouse?

Include a minor league report in the pre or post game.

I would like to know what’s happening on the farm so when a player is traded or is mentioned as a replacement for someone on the major league roster, I know a little about him. For example, Ian Kennedy has been bandied about as a possible rotation replacement, but no one has mentioned that while he is pitching well at Scranton, his velocity is in the low 80s. If there was a minor league report during each game, I wouldn’t have had to search blogs all day to find that information myself. This would also increase the likelihood that the announcers will have a clue about the players in the system when analyzing deals in the future.

Exactly why do I need an in game box score?

I recognize that not everyone watches every pitch of every game, so a box score could update them on who knocked in the runs or who homered that night. But this is the twenty first century and I can find that information any number of ways without being disrupted by fairly unimportant information. It’s just one more sponsorship opportunity for Bigelow Tea, Joe Torre’s drink of choice.

Only two men booth in the booth at once (or at least make the third voice bring something different to the table)

Pairing Al Leiter and David Cone will bring similar amounts sleepiness to the telecast.

 Use newer stats.

I honestly have a hard time wrapping my head around some of the formulas and meanings of the newer stats that are still not accepted by many in the mainstream media. Some, though, are easy and very telling of a player or team’s performance. WHIP, OPS, and run differential should be a major part of every broadcast. I want to know that Jason Giambi’s horrible .255 average is evened out by his .399 on base percentage.

Don’t advertise your network’s programming during in game action.

It’s bad enough that the major networks have their logo in the right corner and a TV Guide on the left, do I need to hear a boop sound to alert me to the fact that Yankees on Deck will be on Sunday morning at 11? I saw the commercial for the last four innings and I am still not going to watch. In fairness, I did watch it once, just to see how awkward David Cone would be on camera. (Answer: Very)

Two replays are enough.

I saw it live. I saw it replayed. I saw it from another angle. I’m glad you have 57 cameras at the game. Not all need to be shown for each play. On a check swing or a close strike call, there is only one camera angle I need. Use the first or third base camera for check swings and above the plate for the strikes.

When the announcing crew is having a discussion, don’t cut to the camera shot that forces them to stop and comment.

“So, I think the only way to solve the oil crisis is…hey, look! Former Mayor Giuliani is here tonight!”

Don’t be afraid to punish incompetence.

Joe Morgan should not have a job in broadcasting. Enough is enough. Go to FireJoeMorgan.com and read up on the Joe Chat section. He is unprepared, ignorant, and biased.

For the announcers:

Don’t read the information if it is already on the screen.

I can read. I can see that the Angels are 42-10 when scoring first and John Lackey has thrown 67 pitches. Continue what you were doing. Don’t stop to tell me what I can plainly see.

Criticize players when warranted.

Can someone mention that Derek Jeter has grounded into 20 double plays? Can someone ask why Bobby Abreu is afraid of the wall? Did anyone come down on Melky Cabrera hard enough when he waved to the fans and allowed a single to become a double?

National broadcasts sometimes attempt to ask these questions, but they do so in a way that cannot be construed as direct criticism. “Some people have said that Jose Reyes celebrates too much and angers the other team.” Are those people in booth right now?  The local announcers have much more information and history to base opinions on than the national media, and therefore have the responsibility to levy criticism when warranted. I must give credit to the New York Met announcers who have no problem taking their team to task over strategic moves. When Carlos Beltran bunted with two men on and no one out from the clean-up spot, he was questioned by the radio announcers immediately. Keith Hernandez has put himself in harm’s way to come down on players when it’s deserved.

Explain why decisions are made and what goes through players’ minds.

Why did he swing at that pitch? Why would you steal now? What is he setting up with that pitch? The former player has to be the one to explain why a player or manager made a decision or point out what could have caused a mental mistake. Paul O’Neill has become very adept at taking us a through a hitter’s mind when he swings at a bad pitch or looks fooled by a breaking ball.

Don’t rely on the statistician and researcher. Go in the clubhouse before games.

It takes a proactive announcer to know the team he is covering. I read the newspapers, too, but that’s not enough to properly inform the viewing public of happenings in the clubhouse and the front office. Learn the stats, know the tendencies, and don’t just rely on your memory from previous games.

Don’t make blanket statements that indict all of the fans based on the actions of a few.

Some fans booed Johann Santana. Some booed Mariano Rivera. Some fans leave early. There are tens of millions of fans in the New York Metropolitan Area. Most were at home that night.

Learn about the opposing team.

I would like to know more about the other team on the field. Bring in the beat reporter for the local newspaper and talk to him for an inning. This first hand information enhances my knowledge of the team I am going to watch for the next three nights and brings a new source of information for you to refer to for the rest of the series.

You don’t always have to talk…

Silence is fine. The crowd sometimes tells us more about the game than you can. If you don’t call a pitch as it happens, we can still see it.

…but when you do, say something of substance.

This is the Ken Singleton Rule. It takes him a long time to say a whole lot of nothing.

 Covering a 3 - 4 hour ballgame on a regular basis is no easy task. National networks and team owned networks have the same conflict of interest; their responsibility is to the league or the ballclub and their advertisers. Billions of dollars are poured into contracts to televise professional sports that, by and large, do not receive high ratings. But advertisers pay for who is watching, not how many. The male 18-54 demographic of sports spends a lot of money and because of that, State Farm Insurance received more camera time than Josh Hamilton at the Home Run Derby and pitch speeds are brought to you by Road Runner internet service. But most of these improvements take little away from those revenue streams. Mostly I’m asking networks to tightened up their broadcast and scale back on using their technological toys while still making me feel like I’m watching a game in the twenty first century.